Roll on Floods. The More, the Merrier

From the desk of The Brussels Journal on Sat, 2007-07-28 11:12

A quote from Ethan Greenhart at Spiked-Online, 27 July 2007

Yes, the floods are indeed tragic. [...] If it isn’t bad enough that we caused the earth to weep in this manner in the first place – with our ceaseless carbon-mongering – now we have the blind arrogance to stand in the way of these floods of anger, to try to stop them, to ask: How can we prevent such a thing from happening again?! I have a different question: Who are we to prevent floods? It is akin to saying: How can we stop a child from crying? Should we seal her tearducts with an anti-weeping dam, perhaps, or dig mini-ditches beneath her eyes to catch and disperse her salty secretion? That would be shocking, wouldn’t it – something that the NAZIS might have done. Well, it’s just as shocking to call for rivers to be sealed off and dammed in (DAMNED, more like). [...]

Some people have asked: Where is the proof that these floods are a product of global warming? In the Daily Mail (eeeurrghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!) the once-respectable weatherman John Kettley wrote: ‘In my view, none of the severe weather we have experienced is proof of “climate change”. It is just a poor summer – nothing more, nothing less – something that was the norm throughout most of the Sixties.’ I cannot believe that people like this – DENIERS – still have jobs. Note how he puts ‘climate change’ in quote marks! How grotesque! Imagine someone putting Hitler’s ‘genocide’ of the Jews in quote marks. Having the likes of Kettley working in the area of weather is like putting David Irving in charge of a Holocaust Museum (or perhaps ‘Holocaust’ Museum) or allowing Rose West to run a halfway house for young prostitutes and runaways. [...]

So they want proof that these watery uprisings are a response to our rape of nature, do they? Tell me this: what is proof? I don’t mean to come over all Pontius Pilate (a man I detest for his destruction of trees in the name of making crucifixes; I wince for nature every time I see a brainwashed Christian wearing a cross around his or her neck), but Pilate did have a point: what is truth? Those asking for proof that the floods are a rebellion against warming are just trying to avoid the OBVIOUS FACTS. Besides, proof is an arrogant human concept, beloved of oil-funded scientists and twisted politicians. I shall not play their disgusting game, suffice to say: I know and you know and NATURE KNOWS that these floods are the first stirrings of a climate catastrophe to come.

And you know what? On this basis we should welcome the floods. [...] I’m with Jeremy Leggett, a former adviser to the government no less, who says [in The Guardian] the floods are ‘bills’ from God who is lurking behind the ‘gathering clouds’. More than that, I’m with the Guardian columnist Madeleine Bunting who, seven years ago, during a previous outbreak of nature’s weeping, effectively said ‘bring it on!’ ‘Apathetic about climate change and out of touch with the environment, Britain needs a short sharp shock’, said Bunting. ‘The best chance Britain has is a course of environmental ECT: lots of small, nasty shocks where it really hurts. So roll on [floods], they’ve got a lot to teach us. The more floods, the merrier.’

Yes! Let the floodwaters rise, and the nastier and more shocking their consequences, the better. That’ll teach us to build towns and villages in green spaces, to drive cars and take holidays, to think ourselves above nature. My goodness, Jemima, how kind nature is! Her floods are not horrible or unnatural – they are a selfless lesson for humanity about its disgusting behaviour. That nature can be so kind to us even after EVERYTHING we’ve done to her is enough to make me weep floods of tears, too.

Little Ice Age "Europe"

Submitted by panamboy on Tue, 2007-07-31 04:16.

Western Europe experienced a general cooling of the climate between the years 1150 and 1460 and a very cold climate between 1560 and 1850 that brought dire consequences to its peoples.
What would we blame this ebb and flow of nature on today?

re: panamboy

Submitted by George2 on Tue, 2007-07-31 20:06.

"What would we blame this ebb and flow of nature on today?"

Bush

It's enough to make one weep

Submitted by Kapitein Andre on Mon, 2007-07-30 15:54.

"The local authorities plan to monitor compliance with the new tax legislation from helicopters, whose thermal sensors will detect burning grills."

 

I suppose the 20 euros will go towards helicopter fuel, an ozone-producing additive with a cooling and cleansing effect on the atmosphere when burned?

We are better because we care...

Submitted by missingmyumlauts on Mon, 2007-07-30 15:35.

Wallons, as usual, are in the first lines of post-modern battle for better and just world....

"BRUSSELS, April 3 (RIA Novosti) - The government of Belgium’s French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported.

Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called greenhouse gas, is emitted during barbequing. Beginning June 2007, residents of Wallonia will have to pay 20 euros for a grilling session.

The local authorities plan to monitor compliance with the new tax legislation from helicopters, whose thermal sensors will detect burning grills.

Scientists believe CO2 emissions are a major cause of global warming."

Maybe local meat afficionados should start reading BBC:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/2527645.stm

Global warming And Other Junk Science

Submitted by Atlanticist911 on Mon, 2007-07-30 00:59.

For any individual not already in the know,the following website is a must for all you  healthy cynics out there who don't swallow everything forced down your throat by the Al Gore's of this world.

 

http://www.junkscience.com/

 

The truth

Submitted by Bob Doney on Mon, 2007-07-30 02:50.

On the contrary, this film is just as biased and tendentious as the more blatant MMGW propaganda it purports to criticise.

God

Submitted by George2 on Sun, 2007-07-29 14:22.

"the floods are ‘bills’ from God"

Who dares to compare God with Bush?

"Ethan",e epi tan

Submitted by Atlanticist911 on Sun, 2007-07-29 11:00.

Just musing...

 

If 'Ask Ethan' guested on Hehpsehboah's website,how many of the Saoshyant's naive acolytes would take his observations seriously,and debate him vigorously on those points where his 'opinions' differ from that of their prophetess?

 

I say,"E tan,e epi tan",let that co(s)mic battle commence.

Ethan's Soul Mate Found?

Submitted by Atlanticist911 on Sat, 2007-07-28 15:48.

Souls dancing in the rain

Souls dancing in the storm

Souls dancind in the sunrise

Souls dancing,

dancing...into forever

-Her Holiness Hehpsehboah A (Saoshant,Divine Prelate and renowned prophet and healer of Mi'kmak descent)

 

http://www.thecosmicenergyexperience.com/index.htm

 

A selection of prophetic utterances from her holiness include:

 

"Within three years,we will have proof of the shifting poles as tropical areas are becoming cold and wet and cold areas are becoming warmer.As the shifting continues,we will see even the deserts change.The sands will change with the appearance of water...

 

Lakes in Canada,USA and Europe will be stranger than ever,overrunning their dams...

 

There will soon be communication with ETHAN...ah,sorry,that's ETHERAN and ET-like beings as mankind will be freed from spiritual bondage.

(End quotes)

 

I thought it was looking quite promising for our eco- Ethan there for a moment,but on closer inspection even this Mi'kmaq paddy-wack thinks that global warming is a complete and utter crock:

 

"Oh so cold.No global warming in sight in 2008..."

 

http://www.saoshyant.org/prophecies_from_saoshyant_hehpsehboah.htm

 

On a brighter note,however,it would appear that Islamist terrorism is about to become a thing of the past:

 

"Vatican will soon reassess the Moslem religion and will bring it under its umbrella,since the Moslem religion was created by one of (the) Vatican's own".  

Next Human Sacrifice!!

Submitted by longun45 on Sat, 2007-07-28 14:34.

These people are blithering idiots, they go "see it’s all global warming."  As if by the mere act of saying it makes it so.  Of course they ignore history and just about anything else that might possibly explain it.  Like it’s happened before, and will happen again no matter what you do.

 

 

 

I guess we should allow human sacrifice of the believers to allow them to intercede, because obviously the gods are angry and need a sacrifice.  I am sure there will be plenty of volunteers.

 

Ethan is not so Green at heart I believe...

Submitted by Eddy Burke on Sat, 2007-07-28 13:35.

This is one of the most excellent satirical articles I have read in a long time...!

Yes, this is indeed how "environmentalists" (note the quotation marks) think about these disasters. The love them, they like the people to suffer, they want disasters (most of them are affluent enough not to be affected by the floods anyway), so they can be proven right.
Reminds me of the "liberals" (quotation marks again) I overheared talking about how they want the US to lose in Iraq, to have more soldiers killed, to have more people lose their houses or lose their jobs, so they would not vote Republican.

What is "truth"? Indeed!!

Great piece.

Ed

Ethan's 'Enlightenment'

Submitted by Atlanticist911 on Sat, 2007-07-28 13:25.

Yes! Let the floodwaters rise [...] Floods are not horrible or unnatural - they are a selfless lesson for humanity about its disgusting behaviour...

Keywords: Floods,unnatural,NOT.

 

So,it would appear that even if the Abrahamic version of the 'Deluge' and the very concept God himself are both accepted and rejected by the Ethan's of this world,floods ARE accepted as historical and natural occurances which have been documented by humankind over the millenia.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deluge_(mythology)

 

Hmm! Question is,what carbon related crime did the Aztec,Maya,Hopi,Mi'Kmaq (and the rest of those ancient paddy-wacks) do to offend their mythical deity,Al-Gore? 

Discover the answer to that question and the Ethan's of this world will have finally found their ecological Nirvana.

Ethan's 'Logic'

Submitted by Atlanticist911 on Sat, 2007-07-28 11:43.

I wince for nature every time I see a brainwashed Christian wearing a cross around his neck...

 

                                       vs

 

I'm with Jeremy Leggett [...] who says [in The Guardian] the floods are 'bills' from God who is lurking behind the 'gathering clouds'...

 

OK.

And we haven't even begun to analyse Ethan's 'logic' on climate change!