If Zis Mad You Smil, Pleas Pas On to Oza Pepl

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English.”

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c.” Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k.” This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f.” This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v.”

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis & evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

This has to be a joke. The

This has to be a joke. The last few lines of the post were hard to read for me. Looks worse than sms speak (aka phone speak).

Anyway, in 20 years, we will only need to know about 300 hundred arabic word or phrases, i.e., "adultress", "stoning", "allah is great" and "please dont kill me"...we already know dhimmi, jayza and others...so we are halfway there




Actually, they already separate English and American


European schools already differentiate between English and American and I know Flemish students in Belgium who lose points for speaking with an American accent rather than the Queen's Tongue.

Lord, grant me the strength to change the things I can;

the serenity to deal with the things I cannot change;

and the wisdom to know the difference.

I'll keep the current English...

Instead of learning the new Euro-English, perhaps one who wants to be ahead of the curve should learn the next official language, i.e. Arabic.

Well I hope the websites of Europe will have at least two language links on their pages "euro-english" and "english" for us Americans. Perhaps we will need to rename English to American.

The article is so funny its got to be a joke right?

Say it on!

Excuse me, English IS a germanic language. And because it sounds so much better then German, the Brits tend to use their language like woman. A - lot.

An Old One

This is an old joke, but a good one. Of course, the English language has germanic roots; but English sounds so much better then German.